Staying home

Some of you may have noticed that I am not at funeral in the middle of nowhere. Nor am I on my way to a funeral or getting ready to go to a funeral or anything like that. And, no, I didn't oversleep. I decided last night not to go.

I thought that there was too much drama over the transportation arrangements. Apparently there is always drama over this, which I never notice, because I never offer to be the one who drives. I do not like to drive. I do not think that I am particularly good at it. There are several places in DFW that I pretty much refuse to drive to, and then I don't ever drive outside of DFW either, because not only would that be a long drive but it might also involve me driving through one of those places I don't like to drive anyway.

Okay, so I could have gone with someone else, if I had thought earlier this week to ask. But I didn't think that there was really a probably until last night, and then I thought it was too late to call and ask them. I had assumed that my brother would be driving my mother and me, which he said he would, and I thought no more about it until yesterday. Yesterday it seemed to get complicated and there was talk of renting a car, etc.... Then they decided that renting a car would make them late for the service, and that my brother should still drive but drive a different vehicle. I was starting to get a funny feeling about the whole thing, that maybe my brother would be in too much of a hurry to get there and have a wreck.

And then my mother said something like if my brother and I hadn't wanted to go that she could have just gone with someone else. And I thought that if I wasn't going that my mother and brother could both ride with someone else, but they couldn't take all three of us. So if I just stayed home they could both get a ride without all this drama and talk of renting cars and such.

I think that is best all the way around. I stay home, and the transportation problem is solved, and gas money is saved, and I don't have to worry about the clothes I was going to wear being too snug, etc....

So now my mother, who apparently didn't think at the beginning that my brother and I would even want to go to the funeral, now feels bad that I didn't get to go. She said something like--but I know you wanted to go and see *the deceased*. No, I did not want to go and see *the deceased*, but I did want to go and see everyone else. *The deceased* is dead. She's gone. I didn't want to go and see a dead person. That part of funerals I really don't get. Why would I want to see a dead body? I know that some people don't really believe that their loved ones are actually dead if they don't see the body with their own eyes. But, no thank you, I don't need to see the body. I've been told that she's dead and I have no reason think that I've been lied to.

Okay, so I'm staying home. I'm a bit disappointed, but it really isn't the big deal that my mom is making it out to be.