Monday, February 04, 2008

Post 300--Monday Morons--A message for homewrecking sluts

This post isn't for the Homewrecking-slut in particular, just homewrecking sluts in general. If I were to write something specifically for her, I'd have to write something even longer, because she did even more stupid things that what I've addressed here.

First, a few points

If a man says that his wife doesn't understand him
A. He is not making himself understood,
B. Misunderstood of not, he is still married and off-limits, and
C. It is none of your damn business.


If a man says that he and his wife just don't have the relationship that they used to
A. There's at least a fifty percent chance that it's his fault,
B. Regardless of how their relationship has changed, he is still married and off-limits, and
C. It is none of your damn business.


If a man says that he and his wife are only staying together for the children and/or financial reasons, and that they have an understanding
A. You have only his word for it, and his wife may be totally unaware that this is even being suggested,
B. Regardless of why they are staying together, he is still married and off-limits, and
C. It is none of your damn business.


If a man says that he and his wife will be getting a divorce anyway
A. Unless you heard it from both of them, you have no reason to believe that is true,
B. Even if they do get a divorce later they are not divorced now, he is still married and off-limits, and
C. It is none of your damn business.


Next, a few questions

If you convince a man to cheat on his wife, or even leave his wife, what is in it for you? If after you are done with him he is the type of person who will abandon the person he promised to love and be with forever, why would you want him? If he will leave his wife for a slut, what makes you think he would honor any commitment he makes to the slut? After he's left his wife, what's the big deal about leaving you?

Now that you have gotten this man to leave his wife (or given her a good reason to leave him), do you realize that a.) there is now one less "good one" out there who isn't gay, and b.) you now have now increased the number of "the competition" by one? And do you realize that the added competition is probably a better person than you?

What is the point of saying "he would have cheated anyway"? You don't know that. And who else would he have cheated with? For the most part they can only cheat with people who are stupid and immoral enough to go along with it because "he would have cheated anyway". There are some cheaters who lie and say that they are not married, but that sort of thing can usually be avoided by taking the time to get to know a person first. People get all kinds of nonsense in their heads, but this particular bit of nonsense needs a partner, so this wouldn't happen if you were a decent person.

What part of he's married do you not understand? He's married. He has an exclusive contract with another person. What difference does it make that you have might have "feelings" for him? Why do you get it into your head that your feelings matter? The wife has feelings too. And she also has that exclusive contract.

And it's not just a regular contract, they're a family. They're not roommates, they're not just a couple of people who decided to hang out together until something better came along, they're a family. You've decided to do something to break up a family. What makes you think that you have the right to do that?


And one final thought.

This is forcing an unwanted sex act on someone else. If you do this you're no better than a rapist, and you should get the same treatment as the other rapists. If you have any sense, you wouldn't do this. Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, wondering if this is the day that you'll get what you deserve.

That's about it.

Have a nice day.

16 comments:

Princess Extraordinaire said...

What a brilliant post - so well written and so very true although I am sorry you are speaking from experience.

dmarks said...

A relative of mine was widowed, and not long after, a guy started to hang around her. I recall him using all 4 scenarios... maybe the third one the most. It didn't work.

Dame Honoria Glossop said...

If a man says that his wife doesn't understand him -
He usually means she understands him all too well & he can't bullsh*t her anymore.

Anonymous said...

Wish I would have seen this earlier... LOL!
Jesus! for a minute I though that was me who wrote this post. Speaking from the painful experienceof my husband leaving me and our kids for a homewrecking slut, these animals have no self-respect or any dignity and 99.9% of the time... either he goes back to his family, does the same to her or they both live in the hell they have both created for themselves. Can you really live happy based on so many relatives that are involved in the destruction of a marriage and family.

laughingattheslut said...

Welcome new reader.
Sorry you had to go through this, and happy that you found something here that you could relate to.

There used to be a website called Homewreckingsluts.com, but they were already shutting it down by the time I found it. They finally got rid of the site altogether, and now the name is being used by actual sluts. It would have been interesting to read what other women did, but all I saw was the photo of a car spray-painted with a nasty message to her husband.

Anonymous said...

I came across this site and read a number of your posts and I just wonder:

Are you a cop or a security guard or something like that? That's what I sense.

laughingattheslut said...

I am not a security guard, but my husband was for several years. Also my brother was a security guard in college, and I've known a few others so I do have quite a few stories about being a security guard. I'm not sure that I've written many of them here, since that was more than ten years ago.

Michael said...

Very interesting.

I have never cheated. As far as I know, my wife hasn't either. I don't suspect she has, but since I don't REALLY know, my scientific mind makes me add the qualifier.

On a sports radio station I used to listen to in Boston, a particular host had a concept called the "blame pie". When discussing a loss, he would ask callers to cut up the blame pie-for example, in a football game, how much blame for the coach, the defense, etc.

There is a big, big blame pie to be divided up when we have a loose woman and an unfaithful husband shacking up. Make no mistake, I reserve a large slice of this pie for the harlot.

But I have discussed this with my wife, friends, spouses in law, brothers, etc...and without a doubt, every single time, without fail, the women reserve a much, much larger slice of blame pie for the women than they do for the men.

I don't get it.

The man, in this scenario, is the one with the commitment here. Is it just a case of there being enough rage for everyone? Why is it that women have so much anger for the woman in this scenario, and so much less (relatively speaking) for the man who actually broke the deal?

laughingattheslut said...

Before this happened, I too thought that I would hold the cheating man more responsible than the woman he cheated with. But then when it happened, I was upset with him for a bit, and then I tried to reason with him, and then I got very angry at her. I even emailed her before this happened. You would not believe this woman. She knew that we were still in love, that we weren't even fighting, that she was breaking up a family for no reason, that I didn't have a job and that we really didn't even have enough money to spare for court costs even if we did want to get a divorce. Basically, she was promising him things that he couldn't pay for, and a chance to live in London, and she promised him things when he was depressed and he went along with it. And while she is trying sound like she actually cares about me, she says that she knows that I don't want any of this, but since I can't legally stop her she was going to do it anyway. There was just no reasoning with her. He had a few moments when he seemed to come to his senses, but then she would beat him over the head with dumb stuff like she'd already bought plane tickets. He broke it off with her before she came, and she said that she was "dying" and he changed his mind.

Anyway, I have memories of him being a very loving person. All she has ever been is a cruel person who talks about her ass to men she doesn't even know. I've lost my best friend and will have serious problems for years to come because some selfish woman I never did anything to decided to attack me cause no one in real life wants her.

Elephantgirl said...

Too true...

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Phyre Flyy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phyre Flyy said...

I wish someone would email this post to my homewrecking slut. She has come up with all kinds of excuses for reasons why it was okay to be with my husband. However, you've put it best...bottom line he is still married, unavailable and it really isn't any of your business.

She is desperate to be married and I can not wait until she gets back what she has put out.

laughingattheslut said...

Sorry that you had to join this little group.

But do come back and tell me when your blog is up and running.

I'm afraid that I'm not doing much about my situation. More than two years later and we are both still here and little has changed.

Philip. said...

Excellent post!!

Can you please remove the Chinese post as it's bloody annoying - LOL

Nojuan Especial said...

I just don't understand people like you... How can you blame the other woman when it is 50% your husband
s fault and 50% yours? She only provided an opportunity, and sure, she is an unseemly person for being that opportunity, but the truth of the matter is if it weren't her- it WOULD be someone else eventually, whether before or after he divorced you.

He was a bad husband for cheating. You must have been a bad wife for him wanting to stray. Simple as that. If you weren't- he would have had no reason, and would not have been able to be convinced to cheat. Think about it, how can you be mad at the "slut" (You and your husband have the contractual agreement, not her. She doesn't owe your jack. Your husband is the slut, not her, because HE was disloyal. She had no loyalty to you, and owed you nothing. He did. Blame him, and yourself, not her.) when you weren't good enough to stay loyal to? If you were good enough, he wouldn't even consider someone else. You werent. That makes you a bad wife, him a bad husband and her just a woman taking advantage of a bad marriage. Slut? No. Opportunist, sure.

You actually mentioned not having a job as a reason that someone should not have an affair with your husband? Did you ever consider that that could have contributed to why he cheated? Should have gotten off your lazy ass and provide for yourself, then you wouldn't have to worry about that.


I don't care who gets mad at this post, it is true. If you get mad, examine why. Is it because I've pointed out things you've already felt yourself, and only ignored to preserve your ego? It's easier to blame someone else for our problems, than to face up to our own mistakes. You made a whole blog dedicated to being in denial of your role in your relationship, and foisting all the blame on a convenient target.
(For the record, I am not "the other woman" type. First of all, I am a man, and second, I believe that if a married person is not happy, they should -try to work it out, but it if can't be worked out- at least separate before sleeping around. However I also don't condone bitter people placing blame unduly, especially when a failed marriage is the fault of BOTH members of it more than any illicit affair. An affair is a sign of a bad marriage- not the cause of one)