Thursday, August 27, 2009

I seem to have forgotten what I was doing

This whole new business thing of my husband's has me distracted from what I am supposed to be doing. A friend of mine had told me about a job I might have been interested in, but somehow, I forgot to even look at it. When I should have been looking into that and doing other things, something came up about the business, and I just put everything on hold. At least, I put everything that required thinking on hold. So I didn't look into the job that week, and then I forgot to look into it later. It is probably too late now. And I'm too embarrassed to tell my friend that I forgot about it.

The things that did not require thinking also got put on hold after it was decided that I would do the sales job part of the business instead of that actual salesman that was originally supposed to do the job. So three weeks ago I was doing a lot of work, making space in the living room area for the rental equipment, and the usual laundry and washing dishes and such, and I was even doing a bit of gardening. It is too hot to do much gardening, but I got most of a certain project done. So that was something, and it made me feel better to get something done.

And then I had plans to do some other stuff, and I put them on hold until this first business account was done. So that was almost three weeks ago that I stopped doing whatever I was doing and seriously started worrying about the business instead. So I did the job the Saturday before last, and again this past Saturday. And we were both too tired to do much of anything on Sunday, though we did attempt to go shopping and did a few fun things. We have since eaten out at several restaurants, seen a couple of movies, gone to the park, and gone shopping some more, etc....

And I've pretty much spent the rest of my time watching the X-Files or something like that. I've done very little work. I have yet to even catch up with washing the dishes or doing the laundry. And as for the garden or working in the living room or the rest of the house, I've forgotten now whatever it was that I was going to do next. Three weeks ago, it seemed very important and I was glad to finally have the time and energy to get started on it, and now I can't even remember what it was.

Some of that is just an excuse for basically being lazy. It is like after I don't do something for a while, I can't seem to get back to doing it. So while I might not remember exactly what it was that I wanted to get started on, I should just get started on something else. I should just find something to do and do it, and not really worry about if this is the best thing to do right now, because doing any of it would be better than doing none of it. But it is like I've forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other.

I tell myself that I am waiting for my husband to go back to work at his "real job", which is partially true. I can't seem to get much done while he is here, unless it is the two of us doing something together, which is usually limited to running errands. So today he was supposed to be back at his real job, only yesterday he was told that the account didn't start until five in the evening. So he won't be leaving the house til two or three, and probably by that time I'll have lost interest in trying to do very much.

I am also dreading a phone call from my mother.

I should just not talk to my mother anymore. I know that. I should never talk to my mother except when it involves other people in my family, or maybe only talk to her during those times when the whole family gets together. Other times, it just doesn't end well. So she has been wanting to know when my husband goes back to work, which is today, and she knows that it is today, so I suspect she will call and want to go to dinner, or worse, that she will have something she wants to talk to me about.

And I can't just refuse to talk to her without hearing what it is. I suppose that I could have, but I opened the door for this sort of thing when I called her a couple of weeks ago about the new business thing. I should have kept my mouth shut, but in a panic I didn't know who else to call.

And now I think that my brother wants to talk to me about something. If my brother wants to say something, he would usually just blurt it out. So now I am suspicious.

Maybe I shouldn't talk to either one of them.

Anyway, I should find something to do. I can't refuse to talk to them, but if I look really busy, I could at least limit the time I have to talk to them.

Oh, and I seem to have injured my leg, though there isn't a bruise or anything, and I can't remember doing anything to it. So whatever work I am going to do is limited, so I can't do some of the stuff that really needs to be done, like I can't get down on the floor and scrub the floorboards. Luckily, I can do both the dishes and the laundry without doing much to bother the leg. And I need to do the laundry anyway, so I can decide what to wear on Saturday.

Unfortunately, one of the things that I really have to do is clean out the fridge. I have to go grocery shopping, and what I am planning to buy will not currently fit. So I have to clean out the fridge, even with the injured leg.

1 comment:

Ananda girl said...

I hate that feeling of dreading to talk to someone that I don't want to talk to. I have troubles with family members too. Recently a friend told me that I need to dump my family. He's probably right... but I can't seem to do it completely.
Well, I'm no help at all!

I hope it works out well for you. Maybe then you can give me pointers on how to deal with it.