Monday, January 04, 2010

I have no plans

Usually at this time of year people make resolutions and decide what they want to be different in the future. They want to go on a diet, they want to go back to school, they want to give up smoking, they want to give up some other bad habit, they want to redecorate the house, they want to be more organized, etc.... I would guess that the majority of us are in some major group like going on a diet or quit smoking, so we would have a lot of company. And we will also have a lot of company when we fail.

Having had the same plans for several years now, I'm afraid I don't even much see the point of making the plans to begin with.

I have looked back over my blog and seen all the times that I've almost gotten this or that room cleaned, or this or that organized, and it this rate I should have it all done in a month or less. Except that it never actually gets done, not all at once, and whatever part did get done is soon back to it's usual state.

And the dieting never works out, except for the one time that I had the house all to myself for several months, and another time that I was just too upset to eat much of anything. So I had dramatic weight loss twice, though only one of those times actually counts as dieting or good eating habits. The other just happened, and I would rather not have it happen again.

As for the smoking, I have never had a cigarette, so I have never had to stop smoking. That must be a hard one, like giving up caffeine, which I try once in a while but never stick to.

As for the usual stuff that has been bothering me for the past several years, no, I am not over it, and I do not really feel better about it. I just have for a time given up on the idea that I can do anything about it. There may be a smile on my face, but the inside of my head is constantly screaming. And no one seems to notice. And it is better that way, that no one seems to notice, because when I am pretending to be alright I at least feel well enough to get out of bed most days and knit or something. I couldn't do that if my outside appearance reflected my inner thoughts.

But I had better soon work on my outside appearance as well. I'm getting zits on my face again, so it is time to go an buy some ProActive. And I do not care for the rest of my appearance either, although my a** still seems to be shrinking. I wear size ten jeans, and I even have a pair of size eight that I can get into sometimes, but I have not lost weight and I do not look any better. I am sure that there is some trick to it, like the people who make the jeans are marking the wrong size so that we will think we have lost weight and buy more clothes. But the scale does not indicate any actual weight loss, and I do not look or feel any better. I just have to buy smaller jeans once in a while.

The appearance of the house is really bad. The living room and dining room look like something from the hoarders show. This is partially the usual stuff, and partially the Christmas shopping and wrapping stuff. There are boxes tossed here and there while I look for something the right size to wrap this thing in, and then I've lost a roll of tape and toss things around while I look for that, and then when I find some tape I can't find ribbon, and so on...

I guess that I can start with that. The Christmas clearance shopping (if I do more of that) will be mostly done today or tomorrow, and I should start putting all of this stuff away. And I can throw away all of these boxes (or at least most of them) that I have been holding on to just in case I needed them to wrap presents.

And in spite of my feelings that the dieting won't work any better this year than it did last year, I really should try to do something about it. Only it is already a few days into the new year, and I haven't even made any plans. Not that I have plans that I haven't followed through on, just that I haven't even made any plans. So that is unusual. I usually have some plan but feel like I have to wait for something to happen before I get started. This year, I haven't even decided how to start.

And I probably will not come up with any plans today either. My only plans for today are knitting (as I have had to start over with the scarf that I meant to give to the pilot for Christmas), and possibly going to Target to see how much Christmas stuff is left.


Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

dmarks said...

The above is a nice thing to say, but it some sort of spam to which there is no point. I can't see that it is advertising anything. I've gotten the exact same spam. As have thousands of others.

Ananda girl said...

I do not know if it will help or not, but I have found that when I diet, that I am more likely to fail than when I eat in a healthy way. It seems to me that diets are designed to make you feel deprived and that never works out well.

The other thing that I do that seems to work for me... and we are all different, I know... is that I eat soup twice a day. Lunch and diner. Breakfast is usually yogurt and apple slices to dip in it. Because I like it and it's low in calories and fat.

laughingattheslut said...

The spam is from someone in Ireland who Googled 8mm garter bar, and it doesn't make any sense as it doesn't seem to be advertising anything and doesn't even make reference to 8mm garter bars or anything else.

Also, it isn't true. Much of my older stuff is more interesting.

As for Ananda's soup, is it soup instead of lunch and dinner, or is it soup in addition to something else for lunch and dinner? There is a study that shows if people have soup before lunch or dinner that they eat less calories. But the soup that they use in the study is already 240 calories, so that doesn't seem very helpful to me. If you are trying to lose weight, and you have a 240 calorie soup, shouldn't that and a salad be all you should eat? Not the 240 calorie soup and then a trip to the buffet table.

dmarks said...

I thought so too, about the spam on my blog: my posts have been shorter and I think less interesting lately. I wonder if it is part of a strategy on spammers' part to test to see if they can can comment? Or maybe the spammers have no idea what they are doing.