Friday, September 12, 2008

...and they eat us. The end

I've been discussing whether or not certain plots for science fiction stories are plausible. This reminded me that is has been a while since I have asked for help in finding a certain item from Omni Magazine. So, I think I'll have another go at it here.

Omni Magazine was a little bit of science fiction and a little bit of science fact. It had a lot of H. R. Giger's artwork. It had stories, and it had rumors about upcoming movies, and it had little articles about rock musicians claiming that the cure for the common cold was whatever illegal drug that they were taking.

And it had the funniest cartoons. Ripley from Alien says, "You men go out and die stupid deaths while I strip down to my underwear." And it had games and I.Q. tests and other stuff.

And one issue had a maze that supposedly contained the plots for all sci-fi movies. So you start in the middle of the maze--on Earth. And then maybe you stayed on Earth, or you went to the moon, or people colonized another planet, or people went to visit another galaxy, or maybe someone invented the time machine, etc.... And then from there you made another turn where something else happened, like maybe some aliens come to visit, or the spaceship breaks, or a bunch of people get sick, or whatever. Some of the maze routes were very small, such as-- we're on Earth, and we stay on Earth, and we invent something, and we blow ourselves up, the end.

There were a lot of things that could happen if we met aliens, but after all of the twists and turns we usually end up with--and they eat us, the end. One was, and the aliens take our women and leave, the end. And another one was, and the aliens take our women, and then they eat us, the end.

Anyway, I just loved this thing, and I kept that issue of the magazine. But then I got married, and I moved, and stuff happened, and at some point I lost the magazine. So if anyone out there has the thing, I would love a copy of this maze.

5 comments:

Bobby said...

For some reason this made me think of those Choose Your Own Adventure books. Like if you choose to go through the door on the right instead of the door on the left, turn to page such and such and you'll now go through scenario A or B or what have ya. I loved those! I wonder if they still have those.

dmarks said...

I've gathered together 10 or so Omni magazines. I will make sure to look.

How is the weather looking down there? Getting Ike'd?

laughingattheslut said...

We are going to get Ike'd in a few hours. There has been a tornado half way between us and Galvaston. This sounds really silly that DFW is getting ready for a hurricane. People went to get stuff at the grocery store, but I didn't. Also, people lined up to buy gas, which has gone back up about twenty cents. That is supposed to be illegal.

Earlier this week, someone in the club mentioned the hurricane, but he wrote it in capital letters--IKE. Among trekkies, IKE is the Intergalactic Klingon Empire. So we had a few jokes about that.

And a certain person managed to post seven times on just one of the days that he didn't have time to answer my email. Guess I hurt his feelings.

dmarks said...

Some weather maps show rain bands stretching way up into the country. I suppose we will get a lot more rain at some point.

The gas scare is one of the things I remember about 9-11. I even got into one of the long lines, but that station did not happen to boost prices. Many others in the state did, however, and got prosecuted.

dmarks said...

I found the stack of Omni. I found the multiple H. R. Giger covers/articles/mentions. I found the games. I found the previews of "Battlestar Galactica" and "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (the latter preview wondered if it could be as good as the original).

But I found nothing that looked like a mention of a science fiction plot maze.