Yesterday, my husband went out of town to work a few days in Arkansas. He didn't ask if I wanted to go with him. Really, I don't think that I would have gone, but he didn't ask. He did, however, remember to call as soon as he got there to tell me he had arrived safely, which he has recently been rude and not done.
The theory is that I'll stay at home and get some work done. Here is was happens in reality. It takes me a day or two to get used to being here by myself and sleeping alone and all of that, and I get very little work done. And then I start to seriously think that this or that needs to be cleaned or some other thing needs to be done, and I get started on it. Then either a friend that I like talking to distracts me for a few hours, with isn't too bad, or maybe a certain other person calls. If the other person calls, it is bad. However well meaning this person is, however nice the conversation starts out, it ends up with me crying about my situation and feeling useless and it gets so bad that I almost go and hide under the bed. So not only do I waste the hours of time spent talking to this person, I feel so bad after talking to this person that I don't get anything done for the rest of the day, and maybe some days after that.
Then I think that I really must get something done so that the week isn't a total loss, but as I am figuring out that I have just enough time left to move and clean behind a bookcase or finish cleaning the kitchen or finish some garden thing, I remember that I am supposed to be somewhere on Friday or Saturday. If I go and do whatever it is, then I won't have time to clean behind the bookcase or finish the garden thing.
And that's what happens when I have five or six days to myself. When it is not the whole week I get even less work done. Yesterday, I didn't do much of anything except chat with a friend. So I guess I have no excuse to chat later. And the other person I'm just not going to talk to, though explaining that I'm not going to talk will probably lead to having a fight anyway, so I'm hoping that the person just doesn't call. It's already Thursday, and yes I am expected to be somewhere on Saturday, but at this point I'm already considering not going.
Tomorrow is Halloween, and I wish that I were doing something, but I probably won't be doing anything. Tonight I might go see a movie about zombies.
Earlier this week we found some things that we wanted at thrift stores. My husband bought a coffee machine that he's wanted for a long time, found it at the thrift shop for four dollars, and then it had a color tag sale which made it half price and only cost two dollars. Great. Though I'm not sure how many gadgets a person needs to make coffee, since we already have a couple of coffee presses. I found a 75ft soaker hose for eight dollars, which is not an amazing deal but still a bit less than Lowes or Home Depot. And for six dollars I got this other gadget which is supposed to be for making baby food, but I have other uses for it.
Next week my husband will probably again be out of town for another three days, this time in middle of nowhere Texas, and I probably won't go there either. The week after that is a whole week in Oklahoma, mostly near Tulsa. We have places that we like in Tulsa, but if things continue as they have been we won't have money to do anything anyway.
So that's it, the exciting week so far. I'm working on a post about Saturday's party, so I should go work on that now.
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2 comments:
I don't talk to people that make me feel bad. Not for long. When they get to that part where I'm supposed to feel bad, I just tell 'em that there isn't anything I can think of that I want to hear them talk about right now and the conversation is over.
I've become very cautious when talking to some people, because the conversation eventually gets around to, "you're doing okay now, right?"
No, I'm not okay now. If I were okay now, I would have made a big announcement or had a party or something. Just quit asking me if I'm okay now, so that I can pretend that I'm okay long enough to do the laundry and go to ceramics class and such.
But this one person just doesn't want to leave it alone. I have to use the F word to make this person stop talking. That I thought had finally done the trick, and that the conversation would never go that way again. So I was just especially upset last week, cause I thought that it was finally over, cause I thought that we could finally have a pleasant afternoon without talking about things that I've said that I don't want to talk about. And right when we were saying goodbye and see you later and all that, and then we're having that disussion again, and I wasn't even at home so I couldn't crawl under the bed.
I just can't talk to this person til I can schedule time for a complete nervous breakdown.
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