Friday, October 19, 2007

Freaky Friday

Again, as I am traveling, I cannot write a proper Freaky Friday post, since I do not have a complete list of this week's Google searches. I did make a note of a few of them.

But before I get to that, I would like to poll the audience and see if they remember the movie Soylent Green. Now we all know that Soylent Green is people, or at least, I hope so. If some of you have not seen the movie, I apologize for not giving a spoiler alert, and I hope that I haven't ruined it for you. Anyway, Soylent Green is people, but do you remember if the Soylent products were sold in chunks or cubes or granules or squares or circles? I actually know the answer myself, but I was wondering if anyone else would remember. I am thinking of serving some at the Halloween party, but the product I bought isn't the right shape, so now I'm wondering if I should bother with it. Would all the fans of the movie point to it and say "That's not right" or voice some other objection to it?

Anyway, if you're reading this, I'd appreciate a comment on the subject of serving Soylent Green or other Soylent products at Halloween parties. That includes new readers and people who never plan to read this blog again.

Okay, now I'll talk about some of the Google searches.

Someone from Ireland found my blog after Googling "There's nothing nice about me...Almost everyone agrees."

There's been a lot of traffic to the "Everyone is going to Hell" post. Actually, my post said that almost everyone is going to hell, not everyone, but usually everyone is what gets Googled. This week someone wanted to know if her (or maybe his?) jewish boyfriend is going to hell. I was about to say that, yes, he is, but now that I've given it some thought I'd better not say that. For all I know the boy in question was born in a Jewish family but later became a Christian. People from all races can become Christians. So I guess that I should say he is probably going to hell, just like almost everyone else.

Someone Googled Superbowl 2011 tickets. I think that person might be going to hell.

And, speaking of hell, someone Googled "why did I take that job" and was directed to a post about me wondering why I had agreed to work at the Halloween store. Luckily, I did not make that mistake this year, which allowed me to go on this little trip.

Someone from California Googled "non-custodial parent wants to move to Alaska and take child" and was directed to my post about making everyone a single parent of one child. I just happened to use the example of the custodial parent moving the child to Alaska. I don't think that my post helped.

Most of the traffic to my blog this week has been about the giant penis costume. Someone wanted to be a bit more specific and Googled "plastic costume penis", so maybe he wanted something else entirely. Someone from Dallas Googled "penis bags." I had a look at the search and found articles about medical problems and some disturbing questions from people wanting to know if it is safe to use a Walmart plastic bag if you forgot to buy a condom. One guy even went so far as to say that he'd had sex with an high-risk female using the Walmart bag instead of a condom. This made me wonder what is considered a high-risk female by a man stupid enough to use a Walmart bag instead of a condom. Anyway, just in case you are ever tempted to use a Walmart bag instead of a condom, don't. If money is a problem, the 99 cent store sells condoms. I can't say that I've used them, but I do go in the store a lot so I know that they have them for sale.

Someone Googled Altrusian, and a couple of people Googled Vorlon costume. I wish those people would leave comments. I can't follow those people back to their blogs without them leaving comments. Funny that I can follow people who use the next blog button but not people who Google things that interest me.

Since I don't have much of a Google search list this week, I won't even try to do a count.

The top twelve search words are: costume penis texas state fair going giant the dick hell BBQ rudys

Have fun. Leave comments.


dmarks said...

Here's a comment from the usual suspect:

I haven't seen "Soylent Green" since the mid 1970s, but I recall the "Food" being served in the form of a sort of cracker, maybe larger than a saltine and smaller than a graham cracker. And... maybe they were stopsign-shaped?

No, I'm not cheating and Googling it.

For my memory, anyway, Purina Saltines with green food coloring would do the trick for a Halloween party.

Hope you catch my blog, and Wavemancali's with the discussion of Star Trek casting.

I've not look at my search stuff in several days.

Wavemancali said...

I knew it was wafers but I was unsure of circular or square. Were I at a party, the form would not matter at all, the joy of someone else ever having seen the movie would cover anything else.

I think any female that would let a guy use a wal-mart bag as an impromptu condom would be rightly labeled "high-risk". But that just might be the paint fumes at the office talking.

Dame Honoria Glossop said...

I thought it was like square biacuits or crackers.

Can you still go to hell if you don't believe in it?

laughingattheslut said...

I would think that most of the people going to hell don't believe in it. Not quite an actual requirement for going, but almost.

I started to say that on the other hand there would be no one in heaven who did not believe in heaven. But then I remembered the babies and such who die before they are old enough to really understand the concept. So I suppose there are some people who didn't believe in heaven before they got there. Obviously, they believe in it now.

David in DC said...

I came back here at your request. I hadn't read it before.

I think serving Soylent Green at a Halloween party is an awesome idea.

If you can find a recording or sound file with Chuck Heston screaming "Soylent Green is people" and rig it to go off at random moments thatwould be doubly awesome.

I'm gonna go search for one now.

David in DC said...

Found it, right where it oughta be. It's the second link from the bottom on this wikipedia page: