Thursday, April 26, 2007

Something Else I learned on Saturday

Okay, so a while back I spent spring break with my husband who went on a business trip near a lake. I had really been looking forward to the trip, but the week before had been difficult, and I really didn't feel like going. But I went anyway, because I just knew I'd feel awful if I didn't go and it upset him. So I went out of town instead of dealing with some stuff around here that I've been putting off. And I missed two sci-fi conventions, and my friends really had a blast at one of them.

So I just learned something Saturday that makes me glad that I didn't go. Someone I hadn't seen for years was at the convention, and while it would have been nice to see him, that just wouldn't have been a good time.

I don't know what I should call this person. I'm certainly not going to use his name. Mr. Fear of Commitment might be accurate, even if that is totally none of my business. Mr. Three-Year Crush sounds a bit awkward. Other descriptions would have some people trying to guess who he is, and I can't have that. Mr. Attractive might work, but I think I should go with Mr. Friendly, cause he does have a lot of friends.

Anyway, so while I was with some of my friends Saturday, and the subject of the convention came up. And someone was telling a story about some group or other, and my friend says that she doesn't remember that, so it must have been when she was talking to Mr. Friendly. Then my friend pulls me aside and says how she forgot to tell me that Mr. Friendly was at the convention and that he came with some friends of his that she didn't know and that her mom scolded him for not emailing and stuff like that. And he mostly ignored the friends he came with to catch up with other people.

As fun is Mr. Friendly is, I just don't think that would have been a good day for us to catch up. If I had stayed home from the trip and gone to the convention and my husband would have been already ticked at me for that, and then when he came home and asked how my week went, I'd have to tell him that I spent some of the weekend catching up with Mr. Friendly. Nope, that would not have been pretty.

I met Mr. Friendly at a convention that my husband and I went to. My husband is not as into conventions as I am, so I went to a lot of conventions without him. For a while I spent a lot of time with Mr.Friendly. He was a lot of fun.

At some point I realized that I had a crush on the man. I felt really bad about it. I tried to talk to my husband about it, and he actually laughed. Since I did not get any help from my husband, I still had a crush on the man three years later. Luckily, we were rarely alone, and I did not tell the man how I felt.

I have since spoken to the man twice on the phone. About two years ago, to wish him well right before he was going into the hospital, and then again last year when I learned about the homewrecking-slut. I didn't do anything. I just talked to him on the phone.

Damn, but you wouldn't think that a phone call could do that.

So the phone call made me feel better, but I don't know if seeing him in person would be a good idea. I don't really want to date Mr. Friendly or anything like that. Even when there seemed to be nothing that would get my husband and me back together, when I should have been free to see anyone I wanted, I just don't think that there would have been any point to dating Mr. Friendly. I shouldn't date anyone I wouldn't marry. Mr. Friendly isn't going to marry anybody, and there are things about him that would not make him suitable husband material for me anyway. So I shouldn't put myself into a position of getting attached to someone when I already know that it can never go anywhere.

Still, talking to the man did make me feel better. We do not see each other frequently. In fact, we really haven't spent that much time together at all. It just seems like we see each other just often enough to rattle me a little bit. I think I am over the whole silly thing, and then I manage to see him somewhere and realize I might still have a bit of a problem. So spring break would not have been a good time to run into Mr. Friendly and find out that I still have the hots for him.


dmarks said...

I kind of wonder, is there a "convention season", or do they just happen all year round? I suppose that one must be some sort of mundane if they've never gone to one.

evil-e said...

Running into formers is never a good thing. Either there are bad feelings or to your surprise there are still lingering feelings that you had tried hard to kill. It is a tough thing.

laughingattheslut said...

He's not a former. He's really not even a what might have been. I just don't know what to call him. Anyway, we had this strange conversation a year ago, and I haven't talked to him since then. And I have no clue what I am supposed to say to the man the next time I see him.