Thursday, June 14, 2007

Decisions, decisions

Okay, my husband wants to go out of town. He'd like to go way out of town, preferably to Colorado. I'm not sure that I want to go.

Colorado is one of those states we've never been to. Before all of this happened, we'd talked about going on a long trip to see some of the states that we hadn't seen yet. But this wasn't quite what I had in mind.

He really wants to go. He didn't ask for time off, but he's probably going to be off the schedule for almost a week. And the dates just happen to work out so that we could go to the Colorado Ren Fest. I would never have asked off a week to go to this event, but since he's going to be off at the right time anyway, we are thinking about it.

On the one hand, we should take advantage of this time off. But one the other hand, time off means making less money, so should we waste what we have to go on a trip?

Driving to the Denver area would be a two day drive. And then the drive home would be another two days. We expect him to have six days off. So we would only be spending two days there doing stuff, and spend four days driving to get it. It doesn't seem like a good split. Usually for that much driving I'd expect to be in the same area for at least two weeks. Also I'm a rather tired and cranky for the first day or so after such a long drive. So if we spend Wednesday and Thursday driving there and Sunday and Monday driving home, not only are those days shot but I probably won't enjoy Friday that much and I'd expect to really be exhausted the following Tuesday.

We would be traveling 1600 miles round-trip. I think that's 64 gallons of gas. So I think that's like two hundred dollars or so, just for the gas. And it seems like we spend about a hundred dollars a day traveling, and that's just for the days that we don't do anything special and we don't eat at nice restaurants. I think this would very quickly add up to a thousand dollars or more.

There's a bunch of other things to think about if we go on a trip right now. There's that damned diet. We're not actually on the diet yet, but we've eaten at a different restaurant nearly everyday to try to find something healthy that we could live with. So if we take the trip not only will the diet be on hold another two weeks or so, but we probably wouldn't even be eating the healthy stuff we've been trying to eat this week. On the road we would just stop for a burger or something, and at the Ren Rest we'd pig out on fried things and things on sticks, often fried things on sticks.

Then there is the water situation. I did not do much gardening this year, but if I left right now and it does not rain while I'm away, a bunch of the plants will die and I will feel bad about it. On the other hand, I've only invested forty dollars or so this year, which is nothing compared to the thousand dollars we might spend on the trip. But that is only if it doesn't rain. If it does rain, and it rains too much, we are still having problems with the pump outside. The pump works very quickly and gets most of the water away from the trouble spot around to the front of the house and into the street. But, the thing that is supposed to make the pump come on at the right time keeps getting tangled, and as yet has not come on by itself during the rain. It is not a lot of trouble for me to go outside and turn it on, but if I am asleep or not even here, I can't do that.

And then there is the awkward situation with my husband to consider. I do not see how we can get afford to get a divorce right now, even if he wants to do that, which he says he does not. So, either I make the best of the situation and see if I can live with it, or try to just be friendly while I figure out something else. It is difficult to do either at times, since he just won't deal with reality. Our relationship has changed, and he still doesn't seem to get it. You would think that some things would just be obvious, but he has to be told over and over again and somehow he still doesn't seem to understand. He could do things to make me feel better, but he doesn't want to. He's decided to just to do nothing and wait around for things to go back to normal, and that's never going to happen. So we could go on this trip and maybe have some fun and not deal with our problems for a few days, and that might make us feel better for a while. Or, we could go on this trip, and then he will get it into his head again that everything is "back to normal" which is usually soon followed by us having a fight. What would really be awful is if we go on this trip, waste a lot of money, get into a fight while we're still in Colorado, and then be stuck in a car together like that for the next two days during the drive home.

A new reader is fond of making lists. I used to do that quite a lot. I should make a list. I should make several lists. I should make a list of the pros and cons of going on this trip. And I should make a list of all the things on the trip that could get expensive. And I should make a list of all the ways I might save money on the trip.

And that reminds me. Welcome new reader. Stick around, leave comments, and tell us if it is art.


Babybull40 said...

making a list can be a good thing to do.. however why would you want to go on this trip if you already are having doubts? Maybe being apart from each other might be good for you both..

laughingattheslut said...

The only way we'd be apart next week is if one of us went on a trip and one of us stayed home. And there's no way he's going to spend a thousand dollars going to a ren fest without me.

Right now I'm wondering if we should think about taking a shorter trip someplace closer.

Babybull40 said...

That might be the thing to do.. there is always a way to compromise and that way everyone wins.. and happy.. wherever you decide to go have fun ...

evil-e said...

This is quite the could go either direction given the "fragile" state that the two of are in. As I started reading the post, the first thought I had was "she had mentioned divorce", why would they go on a trip?

On one hand, it could be a total disaster, but on the other it could be the live saver. It is moments like these that life what it is and what it will be. Good luck on your decision.