BUSTED!

If I did not want it heard, I would not have said it--Klingon proverb

Some of my friends have found my blog. Oh, well.

Last week I was looking at the tracker and saw that someone from Cedar Hill had Googled something that led them to my post about me having dinner with William Shatner. My friends R and J live in Cedar Hill, and they had also been at that event.

Crap.

Okay, a lot of people live in Cedar Hill, so it didn't have to be them. I've had a mostly anonymous blog. I rarely use anyone's real name, and once I deleted a post when I realized I forgot and used someone's name. I told one of my friends that I had a blog, and he said that he found it, but I was never sure that he had cause he didn't leave me a comment. I've met two fellow bloggers, but for the most part, my friends do not know that this is my blog.

Anyway, we were at dinner Saturday, and R said that they were Googling stuff last week because for some reason they needed to know the date for the captain's dinner, and they couldn't remember. So R and J from Cedar Hill did find my blog.

Crap.

Oh, well.

And it isn't like I've ever said anything really bad about anybody. And it isn't like I ever said anything that wasn't true. It is just nice to have someplace to rant about things that your friends and family don't know about. And now my friends can find this place if they want to.

Stuff happens. Whatever.

Did somebody move to Frisco?

I used to write this thing called Freaky Fridays. It was a blog post on Friday explaining how all the visitors to my blog came to be there. Like some of them had Googled Freaky Sluts, or Giant Penis, or Rudy's BBQ, or Middle of Nowhere Kansas. A lot of people come here wanting to know how to get out of jury duty, or why poor people don't know how to spend money.

That sort of thing used to really interest me, and I wrote a funny post about it about every other week. But I really just don't have the energy anymore. So I think it has been a while since I wrote one of those posts. And sometimes several weeks go by that I don't look at the blog tracker at all.

Last week I had a look at it again, and I noticed that someone from Frisco was reading. Not reading and looking for anything in particular, just someone looking for this blog in particular. So I thought that it must be my old buddy the Absurdist. She hasn't blogged in a very long time, and I'm afraid that I've stopped checking her blog. So went over to have a look, expecting to see a new post, but no. It was the same as the last time I had looked.

Still, the next day this person from Frisco had stopped by several times. So I thought that it must be her, even if she wasn't posting stuff on her own blog anymore. I thought that I would mention her at the beginning of a post. Something like, "Hello reader from Frisco. If you are my old buddy the Absurdist, stop by and say hello. If you are not my friend the Absurdist, but a new reader from Frisco, maybe you could stop by and say hello anyway."

But I didn't write anything like that for a while. I was busy with the new business thing and not blogging everyday anyway.

And then I was looking at the blog tracker thing one day, and I noticed that the reader from Frisco had been there a lot that day. And then next to that, when there was often an empty space instead of a Google search, there was this bit about publishing a post. But the only person allowed to publish a post on my blog is me.

I'm the reader from Frisco?

So I had a closer look at the thing, and there is no mention of a reader from where I actually live, which cannot be, since I usually check my blog several times a day.

So apparently, the blog tracker thinks that I have moved to Frisco.

I have not moved to Frisco. In fact, I do not think that I have ever been to Frisco, and I cannot even remember driving through Frisco to get to someplace else. I am nowhere near Frisco. Okay, I am somewhat near Frisco, but I am much nearer to Arlington and Dallas and Irving and even Fort Worth, while Frisco is way on the other side of Grapevine.

I haven't even been to Grapevine in a long time.

So in case someone was looking at the blog tracker thing and noticed this before I did, let me say that I did not move to Frisco.

Weird.

Friday

As some of you may know, I used to have a regular feature called Freaky Friday. I would go over the Google searches for the week and discuss who might be reading my blog and why. I decided to stop doing that for a while during the spring semester. I just got too busy with school. I had meant to go back to it, but I just haven't felt motivated enough to do a proper Freaky Friday post.

Which is not to say that I still don't like having a look at the tracker thing. Last night, I had two visits from the reader in Australia, and he didn't leave a comment, even after I said hello and everything. But I guess not everyone wants to be sociable.

I've gotten a bit of traffic from a post about jury duty. It was a bit of a rant, but I guess it was a bit of a rant about an important issue. Maybe it's a bit funny. Unfortunately, I think that these people come looking for answers, not for a bit of a laugh or to commiserate over our common problem, and I don't have any answers for them. I do not know the secret password that makes civil servants stop quoting the rule book at you and find a way to deal with your problem. I do not know how to get you out of jury duty, even if you have the same legitimate reason for wanting out of it as I do.

A while back I followed a link back to a site all about people's different jury experiences. It was really cool to see that. Someone thought enough of what I wrote to copy part of it onto their own site. Then I followed another link (which I can't seem to find now) back to what looked like someone's college paper, and there was a link to my blog in the footnotes. So that was nice, but a little bit weird too. I don't know if you're supposed to use blogs like mine as source material for a college paper, if that's what it was.

I also get a bit of traffic to my post about poor people not knowing how to spend money. I also wonder if a few of those people are writing papers. Again, thanks for the compliment, but I'm not sure that my blog counts as a scholarly source.

And then there are people reading this and wanting to know if they have chlamydia. I don't know, but I hope not. What is really troubling is that a few have the odd worded question, like can I get chlamydia after I've had a hysterectomy? Does this person not realize that she still has to use condoms and even then is still at risk of getting STDs from having sex after a hysterectomy? Or is she wondering if she somehow got infected while in the hospital having the hysterectomy? And I'm not sure why she would be worried about that particular STD anyway after having a hysterectomy, since the big problem with that one is that it might someday prevent a woman from having children. If you've had a hysterectomy, protect yourself from AIDS and worry about catching herpes and HPV.

And just before I posted this, I found that someone from Virginia found this while looking for -- that moss grows there star trek. Sorry, still don't remember who said it. But we do all know that somebody said that.

Not quite a Freaky Friday, but...

I used to do this almost weekly feature where I would discuss the odd Google searches that lead people to my blog. Mostly, they get here by mistake looking for nutritional info about Rudys and such. And there are still people looking for penis costumes and wondering if everyone is going to hell.

Anyway, with school and everything I said that I didn't have time to do the thing properly, and that I wouldn't be doing it again until the end of the semester. And then the end of the semester came and I didn't pick up where I left off. And now it's months later and I still haven't done it.

But I did get back to where I was just checking the tracker thing for fun, even if I wasn't going to write anything about it. I got a lot of traffic after that business of the convention closing, and recently people have come looking for Doctor Who scarves but probably didn't even find the post with the pictures of it, and a lot of people want to know how to get out of jury duty. Not that I can help anyone with that, but I hope that they were entertained at least.

So a while back I was looking at the tracking thing, and I found that some people came here cause they had problems with mice. So that totally made sense, after I had recently posted something about my own problems with mice. So I then clicked on the link to see if I was at the top of the Google list.

While I wasn't quite at the top, I was like third or forth. In fifth or sixth place was--Meg Cabot.

Meg Cabot. That's like Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries and some other cool stuff. Meg Cabot.

Hey, Meg Cabot has a blog. So does Orson Scott Card. Hey, now I can not feel so bad about wasting my time on this blog, cause they have blogs too.

Of course, that's different with them, cause they are blogging AND getting their real writing done. My real writing hasn't been touched since maybe the spring of 2004.

Meg Cabot.

I think that's one of my goals in life. To look at a list of author's names and see my name above somebody like Meg Cabot. Only it wasn't supposed to be a list of blog posts, it was supposed to be a list of published books.

Okay, back to my usual stuff. And, no, I don't know how to unstick five gallon bucks.

Thanks for reading

It has been an interesting week here on the blog, if not so much in real life. People from all over the world came here to read about a certain convention getting canceled. And more people than that read my words on other sites where parts of my posts were copied. So people who didn't come here knew what I had to say because they were reading something on the sci fi channel site.

That always makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy when someone I don't even know decides to copy my one of my posts and put it on another website so that more people can read it. Maybe someday someone will do that and it won't be cool, but these last two times have been especially nice. I didn't even try to write anything particularly brilliant on those days, but someone out there still thought I'd said something that was worth repeating. I guess that I just happened to write the right thing at the right time.

The interesting thing about the popularity of the convention cancellation post is that my post was so popular for the very reason that I didn't actually go to the convention. I was just writing my normal diary type thing, and while I was sitting here writing, the convention was canceled, and I got some emails about it. So I was one of the first people to post about that. The people who were actually at the convention didn't do that right away, either because they were at a convention and didn't have their computers with them, or maybe some of them did have their computers but it took a while for them to calm down enough to write anything.

It wasn't quite like having my fifteen minutes of fame. But maybe it was like the blog had fifteen seconds of fame. And while that was going on, real life here was just an average week, mostly spent sorting through the junk and watching end of the world movies on YouTube.

I don't think that I'm going to get any additional regular readers from all this attention, or at least if I have they haven't left me any comments yet. But while this was going on I felt a bit of pressure to not write the usual diary stuff and either post important stuff like about memory problems, or if not important stuff at least stuff that the new people would find interesting like movie reviews. I was going to post about memory problems and a review of the new Hulk movie anyway, so that worked out, but I'm wondering if next week I'll just go back to the usual stuff or if I'll feel weird about posting about problems with mice.

Okay. Back to sorting junk and watching end of the world movies.

Once in a while I say something important

Readership is down. Or, at least, I think the number of people reading my blog is down. I haven't really been keeping up. But I am guessing it is down because I am not spending as much time blogging, when I do write something on the blog it is mostly diary type stuff (and since there's not much of interest going on around here that tends to be stuff about cleaning and such), I haven't done many Monday Moron posts in a while, and I haven't been keeping up with the tracking stuff and doing Freaky Fridays. All that stuff tends to add up to less people reading the blog. But that's okay, cause the blog is supposed to be for me, to make me feel better, not a chore that I have to do so I'll have a bunch of readers.

Once in a while, on rarer occasions now, I write about something sort of important. I do a post about 911 or religion or why everyone should have sole custody of one child, etc.... So yesterday I wrote a bit about jury duty, and I guess that sort of counts as a post about something important.

Anyway, I woke up earlier than I wanted today, so I got up and looked at the tracker. I saw that someone had read my blog, and that the referrer was juryexperiences.org. I guess that they Google everyone who blogs about jury service and then copy any interesting bits on their blog. So parts of yesterday's blog were copied. Cool.

Okay, now back to diary stuff and the usual drivel.

Friday

No, I'm not going to do a Freaky Friday post today. I haven't in a very long time. I've had more important things to do, and in fact I've been so busy that for several weeks I didn't even look at the tracking stuff. But this week I started looking at it again, and yesterday I saw the oddest search. Someone found me by Googling pelvic exam Christian. So I had to have a look at that.

Mostly, that search would lead one to stuff about pelvic exams being done to or by someone named Christian. About sixth on that search is my blog for the month of March, during which time I had to get a pelvic exam and was complaining about them in general, and at some point in another post that month there was some mention of Christian which I don't really remember.

But then there was one other post from a girl who had just used the abortion pill and something went wrong with it. So then the search quit being funny and I stopped reading.

I stayed home this week. Five days here at the house, by myself. The idea was to get some work done and not spend money trying to have a nice lunch in the middle of nowhere. To get some work done, one has to do some...uh...work. Yuck.

The first day I did not get much done, and the second day I tried to get some gardening done but didn't really feel up to much of that. So with half of my week to myself now gone, it's time to do some actual cleaning and sorting and such.

So it's really sad that when I actually put some serious effort into it, four large garbage bags later I don't seem to have done anything that was worth all of that work. I know that I spent hours cleaning. I know that I threw a lot of junk away. With four bags of trash outside, shouldn't there be visible evidence of that inside? With four bags less stuff, shouldn't there be four empty places, or four clean and almost empty places, or at least four places that look neat and orderly?

But it doesn't look that way. At least, not much. Before I had way too much stuff in the bedroom, and now I have a lot of stuff in the bedroom that's been rearranged a bit.

The only real progress that I have to report is that there is no longer Halloween stuff stacked in the hallway. Remember that the goal was to have the Halloween stuff put away before Christmas. So that's like five months behind schedule. The Halloween stuff that was stacked in the hallway is now...stacked somewhere else. But at least it isn't in the hallway.

Not doing as much work today as yesterday. It is always a bit disappointing to know that after one has done a lot of work to say get done with the laundry, or the weeding, or cutting the grass or something like that, that after all of the work is done that it is just going to be needed to be done all over again in a week or two. But that's life, and you get used to the idea, but this is a bit more depressing to do all of that work and not really being able to see anything for the effort. So I'm less than encouraged to do even more work now. But there's plenty of hours left in the day, so I might change my mind and have another go at it later. This is my last night by myself, so I should try to do something with the time.

So far my husband isn't scheduled to work any next week. He wants to go somewhere. Unfortunately, business has been bad, gas is expensive, and we probably shouldn't spend enough money to go anywhere interesting. He wants to go to Colorado, since we have never been there. Two years ago we went to someplace in Mississippi, and that turned out to be a nice trip, but I really don't want to go there again. Another time we went to Hot Springs and dug up some crystals, and he's mentioned doing that again. Arkansas is not that far away, and I like crystals, so I think that it would not take too much to convince me to do that.

Maybe if we got some work done. Maybe if we got three or four rooms clean all at the same time we should reward ourselves with a trip to Hot Springs. Maybe.

Freaky Friday

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

kill (6x) hell (4x) penis (3x) dick (2x) pain (1x)

Okay. That's more like it. It usually bounces back and forth from R to NC-17, with the occasional PG-13 or even PG, but last time it said G. G? Huh? But I guess everything is mostly back to normal.

I think that I have a few new readers, so perhaps I should explain. Welcome new readers. Okay, on Fridays (or at least on posts that start on Fridays but sometimes actually get posted on Saturdays or Sundays) I take a look at the tracker and write about the Google searches and such. Only I found that doing a good job of it took more time than I wanted to spend on it, so now it isn't every Friday. Maybe every other Friday. Or maybe less. If you want to, you can leave a comment about some of my Google searches, and you can even leave a comment here about an interesting Google search that leads to your blog. It's just a bit of fun.

There are a lot of searches that have been popular here for a long time. A relatively mild one is for sodas and diet drinks. I did a post on diet drinks, so that makes sense. REGULAR FRESCA compare "diet coke" "diet pepsi" diet dr. pepper REGULAR FRESCA i love drinking diet lemonade soda dont care what the say TRUTH ABOUT GINGER ALE compare coke products sugar with other sodas vernors, caffeine truth about sugar in pepsi caffeine Vernors benefits of drinking sugar cane juice 64 ounces of dr. pepper diet soda truths and drink 64 ounces of diet coke are all searches that lead people to that post. I hope that they enjoyed what I wrote.

Then there are other popular searches for penile moulds costume de penis giant dick penis mold and mould of penis. Now, you may wonder why these searches would lead to my blog. Originally, these people came here because I wrote some posts about working at a Halloween costume store, and one of the posts was about the Tricky Dick giant penis costume. That job was more than a year ago, so I've been getting these searches for a while, though there are a lot more of them around October and November. I'd just like to say a bit about the search penis mold samples. That's just not right. You don't sample different ones. The whole purpose of getting a penis mold instead of a less specialized product is that it is supposed to remind you of that special someone in your life. You don't need a sample of different ones. That's just wrong.

Searches for how many mega million tickets were bought does three numbers on the same line win me any money in Mega Millions if I don't have the Mega Ball? if i only have 3 numbers from the mega million do i still win something if you buy five hundred dollars worth of scratch off you can win one million dollar texas lottery instead of income tax do gasstations make money selling powerball tickets people spend money for buying lottery tickets and truth about state lotteries lead people here after I recently wrote a couple of posts, mostly about my own bad habits concerning buying lottery tickets. Many of these people could have had there questions answered by just going to the Texas Lottery website.

After a couple of recent posts about my now bad spending habits that I've picked up after being married how poor people can save money people spend money on alcohol and cigarettes, but not health care what do poor people spend their money on school shoud be spent money where do rich people spend money how the poor spend their money why people dont have any money do most people save or spend money people spend more money on fast food than on health care poor people need support not money how much do people spend in gas money going to driving school and how rich people spend their money The search what people spend their day thinking about also seems to send people to the same post, but I can't really tell. By the time I get around to checking an interesting link, sometimes it doesn't seem to work anymore. It leads to a page of Google searches that my blog doesn't appear to be on. Maybe there have been so many other posts on the subject that I've lost my place in line. houses in the past now sounds like it should go with this post too, but it turns out that it goes to a post about a haunted house.

Now, there are searches that really don't apply to any of my posts, but there's a keyword from one post and then another keyword from a different post, so they still end up at my blog. freaky sluts insidious alcohol jasons deli sluts wet "fur coat" in hot tub pics freaky friday book CEL again for freaky sluts fat freaky sluts sluts buckets and again once more for freaky sluts were all searches that lead people to my blog these past two weeks. Also, here's a search for halloween costumes involving popcorn, but I'm just not sure how the two are related. Now this search JUMP START DIET DRINK did end up at a post that said jump start your diet, but it was supposed to be a joke. I was warning people that they might not want to see the Sweeney Todd movie. insidious in spanish is not really what I said either, but I am starting to feel that way. And I don't think that I actually said that my in-laws are morons Well, some of them are. One of them dropped out of school in fifth grade, but he was given a license to carry a gun before he could drive a car. But the post was actually about my husband and him acting like a moron around Christmas time.

Someone Googled getting laid India, which lead to my first Freaky Friday post and I said that someone in the Philippines was reading my blog, but the only person I knew there was a vacationing blogger who was probably not reading other people's blogs but getting drunk and maybe trying to get laid.

I did a post titled Almost everyone is going to hell. Not that it was supposed to be a joke or anything, but I hope that people searching for christians think everyone is going to hell and I am a christian going to hell found better things to read on the subject. Also there was a search for why did Jesus tell everyone to keep quiet if it wasn't going to make a difference? I'm afraid I don't understand the question so I can't be of much help there.

I get some food related searches, mostly for Rudy's BBQ. I really wish that I knew how many calories is half pound of rudy's turkey , but I don't. And after writing a couple of posts about my attempts at dieting, I've apparently become the expert on popcorn and have searches such as what to eat at the movies diet come eat popocorn and movie why do people like to eat popcorn when they watch movies why eat popcorn at movies and popcorn diet. I'm afraid the search marie callendar pie sale annual october march came too late, as I believe the dates for the sale (at least at the Oklahoma locations I have been to) are in October and February, so you just missed it. Other food searches include are abuello's chips and salsa good Olenjacks restaurant McSkillets and central market purple potatoes

Some art related searches include sea turtle tile moody gardens tiles how much should i charge for my canvas art wax accidentally dropped on bisqued piece and ceramic black wax resist recipe, but I probably wasn't much help.

Sci-Fi and Fantasy related searches include Altrusian ganactic OR ganectic come in neville (probably supposed to be "come out Neville") and grandfather theory, along with seventeen searches involving Sarah Connors or The Terminator, and ten searches involving the movie Cloverfield. Unfortunately, these people don't leave comments so I don't know if they liked what they read.

I've written about stuff to do Joplin After-Christmas And Clearance Sales where to buy and five gallon bucket usages , though I'm not the expert on any of those subjects. And the search nice car attract women lead to a post I did about this dumb idea that got stuck in my brother's head.

I have no idea what someday I'd like to forget you, someday i'd like to regret is about. Maybe song lyrics?

The people searching for problems with links are we really getting $600 dollars and again problems with links probably felt totally mislead when they came to my blog. I wrote a post about buying $600 refrigerator, which apparently makes me an expert on that as well, but I think that search was supposed to be about the tax rebate, which I know nothing about. And I have a post titled problems with links, but it is something under the label of Bimbo Bashing.

Speaking of Bimbo Bashing, someone found my 300th post after searching for homewrecking I probably won't hear from that reader again, but I'm glad that she stopped by.

Okay, here's this week's count:

Cloverfield--10

Rudy's--23

Penis--5

People going to hell--2

Sluts--6

Buckets--2

Diet Drinks--11

Refrigerators--6

Vasectomies--0

Popcorn--5

Bath & Body Works--4

Terminator/Sarah Connor--17

Alcoholics--2

Lottery--8

And the top twelve keywords are now: rudys, cloverfield, bbq, costume, penis, marlene, the, going, calories, dick, diet, hell

Now I feel all warm and fuzzy

This was just supposed to be the opening for this week's Freaky Friday. Only it got kind of long, so I decided that it needed to be a post all by itself. I will still try to do the Freaky Friday thing a bit later.

Okay, so my husband is a serious blogger. He is under the delusion that someday this silly stuff is going to make him some real money. That's what he thinks about a lot of things, and he's usually wrong. Anyway, I don't know if he enjoys the blogging anymore, but he's seriously obsessed with it and won't stop doing it even though it upsets me very much. And I was already pretty upset to start with.

One of the things that he does is submit absolutely everything that he has ever written to Digg and Fark and a bunch of other places like that. Not that this takes as much time as actually writing posts, but it does take some time, and it adds up. So he gets a lot of Diggs and some Farks and some other stuff and that one time he made the front page of Fark. For all of this effort he makes about a dollar and a half per day, and once in a while he writes a post for someone and makes about ten dollars. I'm thinking that if he does this during every spare moment of his the day, he might make about half of the money that we spend eating lunch.

Anyway, I don't do any of that. Blogging is supposed to be fun. I think some people make money blogging, but for the most part, that ship has sailed. You have to be in the right place and the right time for that sort of thing to happen, and we weren't. For the most part, if you just sit around trying to think of ways to make money, it just isn't going to work out. Sometimes you think of something that helps you or helps someone you know, and while you helping yourself you might as well see if other people are interested in what you're doing or what you've made, and sometimes this becomes a business opportunity. And sometimes you are very lucky and make enough money that you can quit your job. But even then, when you have a good idea that could help people, it just usually doesn't work out like that.

So I have this blog, which I don't think will ever make any real money, and it is way too much work to get a blog to make even pocket change. So I don't read books on how to increase traffic to my blog and all of that. And I don't submit stuff to Digg and Fark and all of that. And if I ever do submit anything to Digg or Fark or something like that, I'm certainly not going to submit every single thing that I write, unless I cut way back on writing.

Anyway, the thing about Digg and Fark and such isn't necessarily that you wrote something really cool. It's just that you've found something really cool. Maybe the really cool thing is something you wrote, or maybe it's just something you happened to come across while surfing the web. So you can find an amateur movie review from some college guy who got sneak preview passes to some movie you've really been looking forward to, or you really like someone's post on the greatest vacation spot, or whatever. And you think that's just so cool, and you think that other people will think that it's cool, so you submit it to Digg or whatever. Or you can have a whole blog of stuff that you didn't even write. You can just copy or link to something you found, and as long as you give credit and you weren't asked not to do that, it's probably okay. Flattery will get you...well, as least a word of appreciation.

Okay, so I have a link on this site, which I don't think I'd ever heard of before, and I don't think that I know this person. And I'm pretty sure that the post doesn't really fit in with the rest of it. But there it is, and it was submitted to Digg and got five Diggs.

Isn't that sweet?

On the same day I also found out that my post about going to the state fair was copied and translated into German. I'm afraid that I don't get why, and it wasn't that good of a post, but it's still kind of cool.

There was some other stuff I found that were supposed to have links to my blog, but then they either just didn't seem to work or they had been deleted. Maybe someone linked to my posts because of the name, without actually reading them, and then later decided they just didn't fit.

Freaky Friday

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
sex (8x) kill (7x) hell (4x) dick (3x) shoot (2x) death (1x)

I'm not sure where all that sex came from. Hell and dick sure, but sex? Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese had sex. And I've complained of not having sex, and quite a while back there was the sex list post, but that's about it. I think the rest of that stuff came from the Cloverfield review.

It has been all about Cloverfield this week. I'm going to switch things around a bit today and put the Cloverfield searches at the end of this post after the top twelve keywords. I hate spoilers, and I think that discussing the Cloverfield searches would count as a spoiler. If you want to read my review, click here.

We had a lot of Rudy's BBQ fans this week. Searches include calories in Rudy's barbeque, rudy's bbq nutritional, rudy's bbq coupons, rudy's bbq nutritional facts, rudy's bbq nutritional info, rudy's barbeque, rudy's barbeque calories, rudy's bbq nutritional value, and rudy's bbq nutritional facts. There are 30 to 35 calories in two tablespoons of sauce, and that's all the info I've found so far. Okay, I'm not going to get all serious like last week, but for the most part bbq still isn't diet food. It just isn't. If you want to lose weight you'll need to eat a lot of stuff like broccoli. But if you happen to be near a Rudy's, maybe you should try the turkey. If you don't drown it in sauce, and you don't eat too much of it, turkey is good for you. So while you're at Rudy's ordering a sandwich, maybe get some extra turkey to go. And maybe eat it with a side of broccoli.

Somebody was looking for an Enik costume. I made an Enik costume for Halloween 2006. I think that I wore it for about twenty minutes. It was just too hot and uncomfortable.

Other people were searching for 31 inch wide refrigerator, 31 inch wide refrigerator in stainless steel, and clean outside of black refrigerator. I thought that last one was odd. Are black refrigerators supposed to be cleaned in a different way than white ones? I know that there's now special laundry detergent for black clothes, but surely you don't need special cleaners for black refrigerators.

Someone Googled I don't feel like I'm an alcoholic, to be followed by I'm an alcoholic too. Well, I'm not an alcoholic. I'm about as anti-alcoholic as you can get. And I said so, here. Probably not what they wanted to read.

Someone Googled central market olive salad. I think the olive salad I bought was Boscoli, which they do have at Central Market. But I lucked out and bought mine at the surplus store.

A fellow fan of the knitting machine was looking for bond-america.com discount coupon. I don't have any such coupon. But Micheal's and Hobby Lobby often have coupons, and I once used one to buy the knitting machine.

Now we come to the beverage searches. I usually have a lot of those, but these week there's only diet drinks the truth and calories for glass of ginger ale. Unless you want to count beer in a tree. That's a Christmas song. "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a beer...."

There were a couple of Google searches for selling my artwork on a blog, how much money made selling art, and how much do I charge for my art and craft. I don't actually sell much of my art, cause I have so much trouble figuring this stuff out. I think that many years ago I sold a couple of painted eggs and copies of a few sketches, and now I've sold a ceramic tile and a Harry Potter scarf. Mostly, I like my art and want to keep it. If you want to buy something, you have to give me enough money that I don't feel bad having to part with it.

Someone Googled truth in Star Trek Show. I'm not sure what that's about. I'm not even sure how someone would find me with that search. There's going to be a new Star Trek movie with all of the original crew recast with younger actors. Maybe someone was trying to find if that's true. It is.

There were three searches for freaky sluts blog, a search for slut husband blog, and two searches for freak friday party. Okay. The freaky sluts who blog are in England. Or, at least, the ones I had problems with are there. There are others in other places, like New York, but I don't know anything about them personally, I just read the blogs. As for slut husband blog, well, I don't know if that's what I'd call him, but he does blog. And I may know some freaks, and it is Friday, but I'm not going to a party.

There were a lot of searches involving popcorn. Two searches for eating out calories in popcorn, two for calories in movie popcorn, and air popped popcorn diet. This isn't much of a diet, but you're welcome to it anyway. And I don't know the calories in movie popcorn, but it's probably a lot. The other odd search was t.o. eating popcorn. That's a reference to one of the Dallas Cowboys, but I didn't write about him, and I don't even like football.

Someone was searching for eBay posting not listed. Should I be relieved that I'm not the only one with this problem?

There were searches for bath and body works wallflowers and sick dogs, and wallflower bath and body works isn't working. Poor dogs. I hope that they didn't swallow some fragrance oil.

Someone Googled truth of inlaws. I don't like my inlaws, and that's the truth. There's only two that I have contact with now, neither lives in town, and one doesn't even live in Texas.

There were a lot of searches that found this post I wrote after I heard that other people didn't like the new Terminator series as much as I do. Sarah Connor to meet Reese in series--well, the way the show is going, she might. Other searches were Sarah Connor Chronicles theories, Sarah Connor chronicles computer class, grandfather theory, and Terminator theories. They all got to read a bit about time travel theories in general, and about theories used in Terminator movies specifically. Unfortunately, only my regular readers left comments.

Other searches for the week were big seashell sculpture, everyone is going to hell, and pop-tart factory. I don't even know anything about the pop-tart factory, other than someone mentioned it in a comment. The big seashell sculpture was a ceramic project that spent most of November in a museum. And I just don't feel like getting into the everyone is going to hell bit today.


Thanks to everyone who played the game of please use Homewrecking-Slut in a sentence earlier this week. If you did not get a chance to play, click here, or just leave a comment below.


Okay, here's this week's count:

Cloverfield--21

Rudy's--10

Penis--0

People going to hell--1

Sluts--4

Buckets--0

Diet Drinks--3

Refrigerators--3

Vasectomies--0

Popcorn--6

Bath & Body Works--2

Terminator/Sarah Connor--4

Alcoholics--2

The top twelve keywords are: costume, penis, the, dick, rudys, going, giant, hell, bbq, texas, diet, for

SPOILER ALERT------------------------------------

Searches about the recent movie include cloverfield incident, truth cloverfield, cloverfield marlene dies, cloverfield what happened to marlene, cloverfield which building beth lives in, what happened to marlene in cloverfield, cloverfield truth government win, cloverfield end bit fly over, cloverfield marlene bite, did anyone see the spaceship in cloverfield, clovefield marlene we've got a bite, cloverfield explanation, cloverfield marlene turn to monster, what happened to the girl who was bit in clover field truth, cloverfield beth and rod at coney island, beth's apartment rich cloverfield, shutup rob cloverfield, attack hud smaller monster, was there a spaceship that crashed at the end of cloverfield, cloverfield blood out of her eyes, and cloverfield very end explanation. Here's my review about the movie. From what I've read elsewhere, what the guy whispers at the end of the movie is "It's still alive." And there might be a spaceship crashing into the ocean in that clip of Coney Island that was recorded a month earlier. And my theory about what happened to Marlene is still an alien parasite, but maybe I've just seen Alien too many times to see it as anything else. Unfortunately, no one left me any comments sharing their theories, but to be fair I don't remember leaving anyone else comments about this movie either. By the time I read a post, someone else had already left a comment that basically said the same as I would have written, so I didn't bother repeating it.

Freaky Friday

Well, it's Friday again, so you know what I'm going to post about. Some people don't like what I post about on Fridays. More about that later, maybe on a Monday.

Today's first Google search is--Rudy's barbeque nutritional information, and then there is also a search for Rudy's BBQ coupons and Rudy's coupon. Here is my review of Rudy's. Now, it has been said that I rarely have anything important to say about the Google searches, so why bother mentioning them? Well, really it was just supposed to be fun. But okay, let me say something important. I like BBQ well enough, and when I have BBQ I'd prefer to get it from someplace I know has good food like Rudy's. But I don't just really live for the stuff. My brother doesn't feel the same way about BBQ as I do. A few years ago, he took one of these online tests, and he got a life expectancy of 44 or 45. This did not cause him to get off his a** and do something about it. So I guess when I get around to my tenth year of blogging, I won't have a brother anymore. That's what happens when "adults" make bad choices in their lives. Fortunately, my brother's bad choices probably won't really hurt anyone except him; he's not a homewrecker, a drunk driver, someone who intentionally spreads STDs, an Enron executive, someone who makes babies and then doesn't take care of them, a drug addict, or someone who cheats on his taxes, etc... I hope that was important enough for everyone. Now I'm going to get back to having fun.

The next Google search is for Vernors caffeine. Vernors is a ginger ale, and it does not have caffeine. Also there was a search for cocacola no calorie truth. I have heard that no calorie sweeteners are actually allowed to have up to four calories, while a serving of plain old white sugar has sixteen calories. So sometimes I wonder if my regular Coke has 140 calories, does that mean that some of my diet drinks really have 35 calories instead of 0? For more about beverages, you can read my review of diet drinks.

Someone was looking for the Sluts R Us store. Okay, the store is not really called Sluts R Us. I believe it is called Electrique Boutique, and it is located in Lincoln Square in Arlington, between the Half Price Books and Olenjack's Grille. Also, people find my blog after Googling Nylons R Us. It seems like a lot of those people are from the UK, so I think that might be the name of an actual store there.

Then we have someone looking for 31 inch wide refrigerator and refrigerator clearance sales. I recently posted about buying a frig, but unfortunately it did not come from a clearance sale. In fact, we ended up paying extra for one of those service contracts.

Some Googled airlock scene cold sunshine, which I'm sure really doesn't seem to make sense to most people. But if you went to see the movie Sunshine, then it makes some sense. I wrote a review of the movie. I thought that the film was pretty good until Freddy Krueger showed up. After that...well...maybe the people making the movie ran out of money? ????

Someone found my blog by Googling timing of annual physical results. I don't know what they hoped to find, but they were directed to my post about getting my annual exam.

Someone found my blog after Googling Terminator Sarah Connor Chronicles. So far I really like it. Here is a post about time travel theories in the Terminator movies and other stuff.

Someone has again found me after Googling Bath and Body Works wallflowers house fires. Okay, I love Bath and Body Works stuff and I love shopping in their stores, and so of course if you do a Google search then you'll eventually find me. But I do not have any special knowledge of whether or not wallflowers will cause house fires. Someone was nice enough to leave me a comment about the rumor. I haven't had any fires because of them, but then I've only been using them for about a year. And of course if they do cause problems, other similar products from other companies would pose the same risk. I would think that the ones with lights would be more of a problem than those without, and I bought one with a light but ended up not using it because my husband wants total darkness at night. Also, according to the rumors that my mom heard, the really dangerous products are made by a different company and are the kind that allow you to still use the electrical outlet while you are using the plug-in. But again, I do not have any special knowledge of such things, and those are just the rumors.

Most of the perverts went somewhere else this week. We only have a search for how to make a mould and how to mold a penis. Oh, and one search for the tricky dick costume. The post about the costume is here. As for the penis mold kit, I have learned that it costs about ninety dollars, but I don't remember where I found that, so I can't include the link for it. Sorry about that. Maybe later.

But then we did have someone looking for the vasectomy reversal billboard. I wrote this post about it. If you'd like to see what the ad looks like, click here. If you drive to Houston, you'll probably see it, but it turns up other places too.

There were two searches for Campo Verde black bean soup. They were directed to that meme post about favorite eating places. Campo Verde a cute place in Arlington with a miniature train and a lot of Christmas lights. But I'm guessing that the people doing the searching were looking for recipes. I don't know where one is. However, I have tried to copy the stuff myself, so maybe next time I'll pay attention to what I'm doing and write it all down and then come back and post a link to it.

Someone Googled Enik the Altrusian. The searcher was sent to my post about getting ready for a Halloween Party. I wish that my fellow fans of Land of Lost might stop and leave comments. How am I supposed to know where to find the cool people who Google that sort of thing if they don't leave comments?

Okay, here is someone who Googled see all walmart phones. Now I don't know what that is about, and I can't even find the link that directed that searcher to my blog, so I don't even know which post was read. Sorry to say that I have nothing to say about it, but what else can I say about it? Get over it.

Now the last Google search of the week was for "I'm going to bed" "and he does". I do not know what this person was looking for, I can only know what images come into my mind from those phrases. I don't write much of that sort of thing, but if you're really interested you can check out the sex list. But the searcher instead directed to this post explaining why the eBay stuff was still not listed. Now, this wasn't a Monday Morons post about my husband, but if I'd have waited a few days and punched it up some, it certainly could have been.







This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

kill (5x) hell (4x) dick (1x)



Here's the count for this week:

Penis--3

Rudy's BBQ--3

People going to hell--0

Sluts--1

Buckets--0

Diet Drinks--2

Refrigerators--2

Vasectomies-1



And the top twelve keywords are: costume, penis, the, dick, going, giant, rudys, hell, texas, bbq, diet, state

Freaky Friday

Damn, my eyes are messed up this morning. I wish were going out of town next week, but we're not. Not the week after that either. Maybe after that.

I forgot to print the Google search list earlier this week, so I'm probably missing a giant penis or a diet drink or something.

Someone found me by Googling soloflex infomercial. I didn't have anything to say about them. Just someone left me a comment that I was probably going to see dumb stuff like that while I was spending all day watching cable TV.

Someone else was looking for the Marie Callendar semi-annual pie sale. There just doesn't seem to be any info on it. I just happened to be there at the right time last year, in the middle of October. Maybe I'll luck into going again this year.

Someone was looking for Dennigers foods of the world. I know nothing about it. Again, it was a comment someone left for me.

A search for Jimmy Dips Mexican lead someone to my blog. But Jimmy Dips was a Chinese restaurant, so that didn't help.

One reader was looking for the time traveler's wife and journeyman. I wish people looking for that sort of thing would leave comments, but so far they haven't.

Someone whats to know what to do about stolen motel towels. I'm sure I was not of any help there.

I had the usual searches for giant penis, diet drinks, buckets, and Rudy's BBQ. Someone must have really liked the diet drink review, cause they read it twice. I wrote a new post about Rudy's BBQ just for these people, but unfortunately they are still being directed to the older posts.

Someone was looking for expensive tree houses. I happened to see some expensive tree houses at the Dallas Arboretum. They looked like the transpods from the remake of The Fly.


Okay, here's the count for this week:

Giant Penis--1

Buckets--2

Diet Drinks--8

People going to hell--0

Rudy's BBQ--4


And the top twelve keywords are now--going the costume giant diet hell how penis husband for what much.

Science Fiction on TV, blog tracking, and few other thoughts

Okay, this is Monday, and I should be writing Monday Morons, which I will get to a bit later.

Also, I am having so much fun with this tracking thing I think that I might start a new regular feature that lists the most interesting Google searches that have led people to my blog. I think I will call it Friday's Freaky Links, but that's still in the planning stages. Anyway, whatever it's called, it will probably start this Friday, and everyone is invited to tell me the interesting Google searches that have led people to your blog.

For example, last week someone found me while looking for stuff about the bridge collapse in Minnesota. Only, they didn't spell out Minnesota, and they didn't leave a space between bridge and collapse. So they ended up reading my post about the 2011 Superbowl being a bad idea, since the new stadium isn't finished yet, and for all we know it's going to collapse. Someone else found me by misspelling Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And they're are still a few people searching for a giant penis.

Also, someone found me me by searching for tied up and masturbated. I guess that they were disappointed, since I said that I had not been tied up. Sorry about that.

Okay, let's get to the science fiction. I hope everyone got to see Masters of Science Fiction. I seemed to be the only one in my group that remembered to record it while we were out. I wish that I could tell you that if you missed it you can watch it online, but I just checked abc.com, and it doesn't seem to be there. But, it is ABC, and they have been nice about that in the past, so maybe check again. While you're there, watch DayBreak if you haven't already, and if you were watching The Nine earlier it is back on, and if you missed last week's episode you can watch it now.

Saturday night's episode was called A Clean Escape, and it was based on John Kessel's short story. I liked it; my husband didn't. I can certainly pick the thing apart for you if you want, but I'm still going to say that I liked it overall. I won't discuss it right here, just in case you haven't seen it yet.

I HATE spoilers.

I was looking forward to a new show in the fall called Journeyman. So someone was saying how it was just a rip-off of Quantum Leap, but so far it doesn't sound like Quantum Leap at all, other than the obvious time travel. I suggested that it sounded more like the novel The Time Traveler's Wife, but maybe that is wishful thinking on my part. After looking at the website, I'm afraid it looks more like the British show Goodnight Sweetheart, which I liked at first, but then it just got to be about a guy two-timing his wife.

While I was talking about The Time Traveler's Wife, someone mentioned that they'd heard it was going to be made into a movie. Sure enough, it is scheduled for a 2008 release. I doubt that it will be as good as the book, but I'm sure I'll watch it anyway.

If you haven't read The Time Traveler's Wife, let me recommend that you do. Though, if you are like me, you'll want to see the movie first and then read the book. If I read the book first I usually don't enjoy the movie as much. But if I see the movie first, I still enjoy reading the book afterwards and getting to see if the movie was even close and what things they had to leave out to squeeze the novel-length story into a two-hour movie.

The Time Traveler's Wife is about a guy who travels in time a bit, but not with a machine or anything else I've ever heard of. It's just sort of a birth-defect. He is the first person known to have the time traveling gene. And this isn't something that he does by choice. He's just minding his own business, and then he finds himself naked in a different time. Usually, it is some other year in his own lifetime, and he often visits the same place and same people.

The first time his wife meets him, she is six. Later, when he is in his twenties, he meets her for the first time. She knows all about him, and he knows nothing about her. They have a very interesting relationship.

Back to television.

We'll also be getting a new version of The Bionic Woman, which I expect to be about as much like The Bionic Woman as the new Battlestar Galactica is like the original Battlestar Galactica. And speaking of Battlestar Galactica, I saw the actress who plays Starbuck in a clip of The Bionic Woman. I probably won't like it as much as the original, but I'll probably watch it anyway.

There's going to be a new series about a vampire on CBS, and I've heard a rumor that a cable channel will be doing another version of Kindred. Not quite sci-fi, but I like it anyway.

Speaking of vampires, it's August now, and I haven't even started on my Halloween costume yet. What the hell is wrong with me? So I'm trying to decide between creating something elaborate like I did last year, or just getting some fangs and/or horns and running around in my underwear. I've bought a few things just in case I choose the later, but none of them are perfect, so I'm still looking.

It might be time for a trip to the Sluts R Us store.

Back to the Masters of Science Fiction.

I think that it's time for a ***SPOILER ALERT***













































Okay, now we can talk.

A Clean Escape starts off with a woman finding out that she has terminal breast cancer and that she probably only has a few months or even weeks to live. Then we see her going to work. She's a psychiatrist. And she seems to have a very important patient. The patient has memory problems.

We learn things about both the patient and the psychiatrist. The patient is head of a company that creates top secret weapons, and he has thought about going into politics. The patient has a wife and two children. The psychiatrist has a husband and two children. Except that the psychiatrist's children are dead, and at some point she accuses the patient of killing them.

We learn a bit more here and there. Finally we learn that the patient is the President of the United States, there has been a nuclear war, and the only known survivors are the 871 people who live in this underground bunker. And they have spent most of the year trying to get the President to admit that all of this is his fault and that he remembers doing it.

I like the story, and I thought that the acting was good and all of that. Like I said, my husband didn't like it. The story is decades old and the cold war is over and the story is dated. I'm not sure that the threat of nuclear war is over just because we like the Russians now. And the weapon mentioned in the story was not a traditional nuclear weapon anyway.

So I could pick the story apart if I wanted. Why did they waste so much time getting the President to remember? Did the people need to hear that before they could put him in jail or something? There was talk about dropping the whole thing, because it was a waste of resources, but what resources? The resource being wasted seemed to be the psychiatrist's time. Did that mean that she never saw any other patients? Did she just sit in that office all day and wait for the President to drop by? And why is he still the President? Do the people just like him a lot? Why is a mentally ill President just allowed to roam about anyway? Do we still need to bother with things like impeachment? If there are only 871 people left, wouldn't we have different laws and make things a lot simpler? And if having the President talk to a psychiatrist is such a waste of resources, why does it end the way it does? After he remembers, that should be the end of it, right?

So, yes, I can find all these little things to complain about if I want to. There are entire books that pick about Star Trek episodes, but that doesn't mean we don't like them. Future episodes will have stories by Heinlein and Ellison. I'm going to keep watching.